Fan Girl Protection
by smallhobbit
Summary: A protection program for anyone who needs help from their extreme amount of fan-girls... er... maybe... at least some of them
1. Introductions

_Hey! This is actually a shared idea between me and my little sis (known as kari910 on here) so it might flip perspectives depending who actually writes the chapter. This one was written mostly by me and probably will come off a bit in the style of "Writer's Block" (just because that's how I typically think)_

_Anyway, the current group was just picked by my sis because I really have no idea about fan-girls past what they are and grouping them with the shows I watch. (which wasn't good enough... but I could totally guess Edgeworth was going to be apart of this)_

_Still, if there's anyone you can think of that can be in this don't hesitate to tell us (and don't forget about any mistakes as well). Please enjoy!

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"Okay everyone! Since this is the first meeting of our Fan-Girl Protection Program I think it would be a good idea to hand out nicknames so no one knows who you are!"

The small group shared a glance between themselves.

"Don't you mean your program?" one asked.

"Oh no; my sister'll be here any minute. She just had to finalize some things with our sponsor," I explained. "So while we're waiting I thought we might give each of you a nickname as a start to the protection process, since it would help keep your identity a secret and maybe defuses some embarrassment caused by being here. Who wants to start?"

A few slumped into their chairs and one even groaned.

"Okay then, I guess I'll choose." I pointed to the one sitting closest to me with auburn hair and a sheaved sword. "You're angel swordsman."

He stared at me absolutely horrified.

I pointed to a ninja sitting idly in the corner. "I don't know you."

Next was a dark grey haired fancily dressed guy. "You're awesome prosecutor."

He raised an eyebrow.

"…And you're not supposed to be here."

The blue haired half-elf stared at me. "Seriously? He gets the nickname 'angel swordman' and I get 'you're not supposed to be here'?"

"Well, you're not on the list," I defended. "...Still, if you're going to be here and you really-"

"I'm back!" my sister shouted as she walked into the room then swung around dancing. "The Coffee Man said we are good to go!"

She stopped and looked at angel swordsman. "Hi Kratos!"

He gave her a death glare.

She then looked at the blue haired half-elf. "Yuan? ...Why are you here? And why is your arm in a cast?"

He tilted his head at Kratos. "Ask his rabid fan-girls."

"Oookay…"

Then she turned to the awesome prosecutor. "Hi Egdey~!"

Edgeworth's eye started twitching.

"Awww, that totally ruined the point of me giving them nicknames…" I whined. "And why doesn't anyone ever call Miles by his first name?"

"You just did," my sister pointed out.

"Oh, and you forgot that weird ninja guy in the corner…"

"Oh, right… Sa…uke, wasn't it?"

He angrily glared at both of us. "No. It's Sasuke."

"Right… Where's he from again?" I asked.


	2. Meeting 1

_As proof of the perspective (and writing) style change, this chapter was written by my sis, and is probably noticeably different then the first. Also, I guess my character's name is Holly._

_Enjoy!

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_I hauled the card board box out of the corner and pulled out a large bundle of dolls labeled by name. With a critical eye I said the names aloud "Kratos doll, Yuan doll, Sasuke doll, Edgeworth doll, and…" I picked up the last doll of the bundle and said "Still packaged…."

I put the doll down and picked up the Kratos doll I cleared my throat and said in my deepish manly voice "My wife is dead and my son doesn't even know I'm his father!"

I put the Kratos doll down and picked up the Yuan doll adopting a slightly high voice "You think you have it bad? My girlfriend is a tree and I have humongo hospital bills because your fangirls always end up hurting me to get to you!"

Next I picked up the Edgeworth doll still keeping the last voice I use for Yuan only this time adding a slight British accent "I don't even have a girlfriend…"

I picked up a doll that was still in its package going back to my deepish manly voice "Coffee machine two weeks… you must sign for it."

Lastly was the Sasuke doll. I didn't bother to pick it up, I just said "Meh."

"What the hell was that?"

I whirled around to see Kratos, Yuan, and Edgeworth "Oh… Uh…" I bent down shoving all the dolls back in the box. "Nothing!"

"Righht…." They all went to their seats.

After putting the box in a closet I turned to the group "Is Sasuke not here today?" my eyes scanned over everyone who was there.

Sasuke looked over at me "Hello?"

"I see so he's not here…" I walked to the front of the group.

"Wait, where is the other woman?" Edgeworth asked.

"Oh you mean Holly? She's not going to be back for another two weeks." A small groan came from everyone "What am I really that bad?"

A very small mumbled "yessssss." Came from Yuan but my ears were trained to hear small noises.

I stalked over to Yuan and glared down at him "What did you sayyy?" _You do know that I can make your life here in the protection program a living hell right?_ Is what I hoped he would get from my stare.

Yuan sunk down in his seat a little "hooray?"

"That's what I thought." I walked back to the front of the group when a hurried knock came from the door.

As I walked to the door the knocks got faster and faster until finally the person knocking cried "OHMYGODDESS! LET ME IN PLEASE!"

After hearing the voice I had a sudden urge to just leave the idiot chosen out there but I couldn't continue the meeting with his loud knocking so I opened the door.

"Thank the goddess…" Zelos Wilder entered and hurriedly slammed the door shut. As I eyed his much frazzled red hair he said "I need your help."

"No." I said flatly completely ignoring him and walking back to the group.

"But! Come on you gotta help me!" He kept pace with me.

I rolled my eyes "Fine what's the problem."

"Fangirls."

"No dur," I motioned to everyone in the room "they ALL have problems with fangirls."

"Ok, Crack pairings then."

I bit my lip "ok that's a tad worse, who are they pairing you with?"  
Zelos tried to look cool and composed but utterly failed as he tried to choke out the name "L…. lu….. llluuud."

"Lud? There's no one in symphonia named Lud, Zelos."

He attempted to get the name out again "Lud! They're trying to pair me with Llud!"

Then it hit me, "OH MY GOD! You're trying to say Lloyd!"

An audible gag came from Kratos "My SON?"

Zelos gave a quick nod. "It's horrible!"

I thought for a moment, and then a little light bulb went off in my head. "Alright I know exactly where you can hide."

I walked over to the closet and opened the door "You should be safe from them in here."

"But that's-" I shoved him in the closet and slammed the door.

I walked back to the others. "Now that that's taken care of, let's get down to business!" I looked at them but they were all staring at the closet. "AHEM!" I tried to draw their attention back to me but failed. Finally after trying several times to get their attention, I finally just walked to the door and opened it, letting all those fangirls into the room.

"Oh so Sasuke WAS here." I said. Yes I know, I'm a jerk.


End file.
